


Professions of Life and Death

by MissMoonshine



Category: Chilling Adventures of Sabrina (TV 2018)
Genre: Angst, Canon Compliant, Curses, F/M, Gifts, Magic, Midwifery
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-21
Updated: 2019-01-21
Packaged: 2019-10-13 22:43:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,382
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17496770
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MissMoonshine/pseuds/MissMoonshine
Summary: Many heard the tales that rank around the Spellman family.Some think some of the Spellman women are gifted.Faustus believes Zelda is one of them.Zelda knows it’s not a gift.It’s a curse.





	Professions of Life and Death

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to @CCNSurvivor for always listening to my rambling!
> 
> I don't own 'Chilling adventures of Sabrina'.

The Spellman family had existed for many, many centuries. The eldest of them still remembered the days when they had a different name, how it changed with the centuries they lived through and the languages they spoke.

Witches had a long memory but the Spellmans’ memory went back further than most. Long before the false god had become popular they had existed, had served their dark Lord as they did to this day.

But it was around that time, just before the false god send his son to earth, that the women in the Spellman family found their calling.

From then on, the family followed two professions.

One was the profession of death. But the other one was the profession of new life.

The first one was the men’s profession, the later was the women’s.

The men were morticians and undertakers, had been for as long as anyone could remember. The women had now chosen as well: They became midwifes.

Of course no one was forced into one of these, it was what their faith was based on, after all. _Do as though wilt._ But they all needed to have an occupation that they could pursue between the mortals and apart from the occasional clergy men, most kept in line with these professions.

Their family was big, far greater than just one or two branches in a country, they were scattered all across the world. Witches had ways to travel to places the mortals had yet to discover and over time, the family grew and prospered.

At their height, there was barely a coven that did not have a Spellman witch as a midwife and they were well known for being the best and most capable ones. But now there were far less witches in the world, the covens were more separated and travellers were eyed with caution.

There were also less Spellmans; some had cut their ties to the world, some had withered and died and some had started to forget who they were.

Sabrina Spellman had never known who they used to be. She was too young to remember.

Ambrose Spellman had been told stories of who the used to be. He remembered scraps of it from his childhood but ultimately, he also was too young.

Edward Spellman had been one of the clergy men. He had still been a mortician and he had been to visit many members of the family elsewhere. His memory was lost when he died.

Hilda Spellman had seen many of the stories of old with her own eyes. She had been raised in those old ways and she remembered how their family had once been.

Zelda Spellman had been part of half the stories raking around their family. She had met the eldest members and she remembered every single one of them. She was one of them now.

 

* * *

 

 

Faustus Blackwood was from a very old witching family. They might not be quite as old as the Spellmans but then again, they seemed to be older than everyone.

It didn’t matter, he had not brothers or sisters left so unless he finally had an heir his family would end with him.

He sighed.

Constance and him had not married for love, it was a match of convenience. She wasn’t even his first wife but she was young and they had hoped she would give him an heir soon. Until then, she would stay faithful, as long as he did the same.

He actually kept his promise, if begrudgingly – he didn’t need another scandal after the one with Zelda. Then Constance miscarried for the first time. It was a shock to everyone, even their midwife who had claimed that everything was fine mere hours before.

When she was pregnant again, they agreed to call the midwife from the church of Shadows, more experienced than there young one. She came and tended to Constance but she still miscarried.

It was a tricky situation and Faustus was at a loss. Midwives for witches were rare these days, especially ones with experience. Not only because fewer witches wanted to pursue this path but mainly because witches got pregnant very rarely now.

He remembered the old days, when every Coven had their own little cluster of midwives, usually led by a Spellman – his head snapped up.

The Spellmans. Generally, he avoided to think about them, there was just too much unpleasant history between them. Well, between him and Edward and Zelda. Still, both Hilda and Zelda were midwives of old, had many centuries worth of experience of bringing children into this world. And both of them were members of his coven…

Like every witch with some self-esteem he knew the myths and legends that ranked around the Spellman women. It was undeniable that they were most talented midwives and it was said that some of them had a special gift. They never lost a child.

He was also quite sure that he had once heard someone mention that Zelda was one of those gifted. She would make the perfect midwife to Constance – if he could convince her to take the position, that was.

There had been too much nasty business between them and after the plane crash that had killed Edward and his little wife, his sisters only came to black mass sporadically. Oh, at least Zelda attended regularly enough that he couldn’t approach her about it but it was still nowhere as regularly as she should and used to.

Still, the third time Constance found herself pregnant Faustus was determined to enlist Zelda as her midwife, no matter how many years it had been since they last spoke.

It really was a lucky coincidence that the pregnancy just so happened to line up with Sabrina Spellman’s baptism. Well, and with the drama that followed.

There was something good to it, though: Zelda would never be able to deny him anything now.

 

* * *

 

 

She could not believe that he was asking this of her. But did she have an option? No, she didn’t –unless she wanted to put them even further into the unwanted focus of the church.

Zelda knew, rationally, that she should be honoured that the high priest had chosen her to tend to his wife during her pregnancy. Unfortunately, though, there was a catch to it. Or, a few.

She hadn’t been lying when she told Faustus that she had not delivered a child in years. It wouldn’t make a difference, not to her, and she had been a midwife for so many centuries that a few years were nothing but a short break. But Constance was the high priest’s wife and her history with miscarriages made Zelda wary.

Then there was the fact that in the case that something went wrong, her family would be in an even more dire position than they already were in. But that was also the reason why she could not possibly decline – Sabrina’s failed baptism and the trial barely a week ago had made it very clear that the Spellman family name was at the verge of the grave.

Of course, she also shouldn’t forget the personal aspect of it all. A long time ago, Zelda and Constance had been, well, not friends per se, the age gap between them was too great for that, but they were good acquaintances and shared a similar taste in many things. They had not spoken in years, not since Constance married Faustus.

Zelda and Faustus…that was a story that could fill books. Within weeks of the Spellman sisters’ arrival in Greendale had they become lovers, no strings attached. Their affair, for the lack of a better term, had lasted for almost two centuries, on and off when one of them left to travel the world.  
Eventually, they realised that they had been seeing each other almost exclusively – though it still took them almost another century until they finally got engaged.

From then, things escalated and everything started spiralling downwards.

And eventually, Zelda left Greendale again and he proceeded to marry another witch.

Now Faustus asked her to tend to his latest wife and though Zelda was well aware of her reputation as a midwife, it still put her in a very awkward position.

With one last look at the content, Zelda snapped her medical bag shut, grabbed her coat and ventured downstairs. If she had to be a midwife to Constance, she might as well make the best of it.

 

* * *

 

 

‘Is it true, sister Zelda?’

‘Is what true?’

‘Faustus told me you never lost a child.’

‘I see.’ An almost unnoticeable shadow flitted across her face at Constance’s question but really, she shouldn’t be surprised. She gave the woman a slight smile. ‘That is indeed true.’

‘I told you, Constance, I would only put you in the best hands this time.’ Constance gave her husband a sugary smile that fooled no one before she turned back to Zelda.

‘I have to admit, I am inclined to believe the old tales about you Spellman women – I’ve seen you deliver my sister’s firstborn and he was perfectly fine. Despite what everyone was saying about him.’

‘They didn’t know their business, if they did, they would have known how to make sure that that boy was alright’, Zelda said calmly but she had visibly stiffened at Constance’s question.

‘Modesty is for the false god, sister Zelda’, Faustus interrupted with a smirk. ‘We all know that you are most gifted.’

Of course he didn’t say with what, so Zelda simply accepted what could be a compliment. Across the table, Constance had to fight the urge to roll her eyes and gave her a tight smile.

All this ‘sister Zelda’ business was absurd and Zelda was fairly certain that at least Constance was with her here. They had known each other for ages, had all been ‘friends’ for nearly as long and Zelda was, even if she did not at all care for that term, Faustus’ Ex. So really, being this formal was utterly ridiculous – but if Faustus wanted to play this was, they had to go with it.

‘Perhaps you should consider having less of that, Lady Blackwood.’ Zelda pointed at the glass she was just reaching for but Constance stopped immediately at her words.

‘Why, sister Zelda? Is there something wrong?’

‘No, of course not. But it is no mortal misconception that alcohol can have an undesired effect on unborn children. As witches we have a much higher tolerance than they do but it is true nonetheless. Surely your previous midwives told you that?’

From the look that passed between Constance and Faustus, they hadn’t. Really, the nerve some people had! Discarding some of the simplest and oldest known facts just because they had it in common with mortals. They might be serving a different master and were barely aging but they were not invincible. And like any pregnant woman, a pregnant witch had to take special care.

That, at least, seemed to be something Constance understood as she set the wine glass down again and took a sip of water instead.

The dinner continued very much in the same manner, all rather awkward and stiff and Zelda was certain that she wasn’t the only one relieved when they finally moved on into the parlour. Lady Blackwood made herself comfortable on one of the sofas there and Zelda quietly but efficiently conducted her first exam of her patient under Faustus watchful eyes.

‘For now everything seems fine, Constance’, she had switched to her first name without even noticing, an old habit when dealing with patients, ‘but I’d like to do a more thorough examination soon. We want to make sure that everything will be perfect, won’t we?’

‘Of course, sister Zelda.’

‘When, Zelda?’

She glanced at Faustus but her attention never left the woman in front of her.

‘Perhaps you can come by the mortuary after the weekend, we can take all the tests their and run them right away.’

‘I will call ahead to let you know when I can come. We have to check Faustus’ schedule first.’

‘I will await your call, then. Now, does either of you have any more questions?’

‘No, sister Zelda – thank you.’ Constance gave her a small smile – she was unnaturally friendly today but perhaps that was just the pregnancy. It tended to mess with people’s heads.

‘It’s my pleasure’, she smiled and started repacking her medical bag. Just as she was about to get up, she felt Faustus hand on her shoulder.

‘A word, Zelda’, then, louder, ‘I’ll see you out.’

‘What is it, Faustus?’ No need for pretences anymore, it was just the two of them now, standing in the front hall of Faustus’ estate.

‘Is it going to be a boy?’

Zelda couldn’t help rolling her eyes. Of course that would be his only concern.

‘I don’t know yet. It’s too early to determine – Faustus, why in Satan’s name didn’t you call me earlier? Constance is more than halfway through her pregnancy, shouldn’t you know how much can go wrong in that time?’

It was a low blow, perhaps, but it did his job because for once, Faustus looked properly chastised. She was right, after all. He should have known better but he had still been too proud to call her, even if it was just for a professional reason. And she had been avoiding him for over a decade – the day she had called him for his spiritual guidance for Sabrina was the first time they had spoken outside black mass in years. And well, no one could pretend that the last week had been very beneficial for their relationship.

Still, he should have asked earlier, especially since he had planned long before the actual pregnancy to make Zelda Constance’s midwife this time.

‘We had a midwife,’ he finally shrugged, ‘but she was useless. A young thing, barley any training – I don’t even know who taught her.’

Zelda scoffed.

‘I really don’t care. You knew that Hilda and I are both very capable midwifes and had you asked before, I would have tended to Constance to her previous pregnancies as well.’

‘You would have?’

Really, sometimes Zelda wondered if she was such a bitch to everyone that they just assumed she would say no to everything.

‘Of course I would have, Faustus. I might run a mortuary now but as you pointed out earlier, I have been in this profession a lot longer. Unlike you, I know how to separate that from my personal life.’

She was perhaps the only person who could actually get away with criticising him like that – he was, after all, her still high priest.  But they had known each other for so long that even the years of not talking seemed to make no difference in the way their dynamics worked and it was so easy to fall back into those old ways.

He seemed to follow her thoughts because he didn’t say anything in return, just helped her into her coat and handed her bag and gloves.

‘I will see you for Constance examination, then, Zelda. Good evening.’

‘Good evening, Faustus.’

 

* * *

 

 

Twins. Constance Blackwood was expecting twins.

Even though she wasn’t sure if using it against Faustus had been a good idea, Zelda was well aware that her words had been true. This was going to be a difficult pregnancy and while she knew that the children would be perfectly fine in her care, she could not say the same for Constance. Not with the same certainty.

Of course she would do all she could to make sure Lady Blackwood would get through the month before her well but it wasn’t guaranteed.

Constance certainly didn’t make it any easier on Zelda, making sure she was alright. When she showed up at the mortuary on the verge of hysteria, she immediately started worrying – this didn’t bode well.

As if she didn’t have enough to worry about already, with Sabrina being handmaiden and that awful little queen Prudence having taken up residency in their house. Well, at least she didn’t need to worry about Sabrina being queen anymore, she was more than thankful that that particular ship had sailed past them.

Remembering those moments, just before Sabrina’s paper had gone up in red smoke, those had perhaps been the most terrifying in her life and she was certain it was only a fraction of the protectiveness Constance was feeling for her own children.

It was still hard for Zelda to fathom why in Satan’s name Sabrina had been playing that particular game of chicken with her. Oh, it surely was no coincidence that they had been invited to participate in the feast this year but unlike Prudence and quite a few of those other witches in the coven, Zelda wasn’t naïve.

No, she was very well aware that whoever was chosen to be queen was not picked by the dark Lord – it was the choice of whoever was high priest. And in their case, that was Faustus so Zelda didn’t think she had anything to worry about. First of all, he knew that making her queen would have Sabrina turn her back to the church for good – which he certainly could not allow. But even more important was that he needed her, to make sure his children came into this world without harm so killing her would serve absolutely no purpose. She had no reason to worry about her safety, she realised once she had sobered up and thought it through.

Zelda still couldn’t say how she had ended up being part of this, helping Sabrina and Hilda to uncover who had messed with the box. It almost made her laugh, Hilda knew just as well that someone meddled with it every year so how was it different this time?

It was different because Sabrina was involved and that made everything far more complicated.

Sitting through that infamous last supper was both taxing and entertaining. As little as she liked those weird sisters, she couldn’t deny that her niece’s plan worked quite well and the look on Faustus’ face when Constance called him a voracious slut was more than amusing. It certainly was true and there were many occasions over the years that she had called him out on that herself, sometimes with the exact same words his wife had now used.

As enjoyable as the evening had been, though, there was a downside to it. Constance wasn’t quite as trusting anymore now and Zelda was sure that if she wasn’t the best midwife she could get, Lady Blackwood would have long picked someone else.

 

* * *

 

 

It had always been easy for them to slip into those roles and even though it had been years since Zelda had submitted a satanic confession to Faustus himself, that hadn’t changed at all. He felt it, too, that much was clear, but he also seemed to sense that something else was off and perhaps it had been her own fault to lead to belief that.

Still, as easily as they slipped into those roles they also slipped out of them again and back into whatever it was that they had before. It wasn’t unexpected but at the same time it was and when Faustus kissed her, Zelda was sure that she had just entered an entirely new realm of danger.

Had it been stupid of her to ask for more? To ask for what they used to have? Perhaps. It had been such a long time ago – officially – but even with all their little dalliances in-between it felt familiar and way too good to stop.

They didn’t. They couldn’t.

And then Sabrina went and resurrected that mortal boy. She had rarely seen Faustus as mad as in that moment, when Agatha collapsed in the midst of her choir class but she also knew that he felt only a fraction of the anger she felt herself. He knew that as well, which was probably why he actually let her go to deal with Sabrina – even if he didn’t trust her to take care of the mortal boy.

It didn’t matter, now it was all taken care of. Sabrina had learned her lesson and was now heartbroken in her room, she had broken up with the mortal boy and his brother was back in the ground where he belonged. Agatha was a picture of health again, apparently she had recovered instantly the moment the boy was shot.

Now life could go back to normal – whatever that was, after all the drama they had in the last few weeks.

 

* * *

 

 

With a sigh, Zelda snapped her medical bag shut and checked her hair again before leaving her room. She was due to see Lady Blackwood again today and perhaps afterwards she and Faustus could have a word about their…whatever.

‘Auntie Zee?’ Surprised, Zelda stepped back and peaked into her niece’s room. The girl was sitting on her bed, still in her pyjamas and with her hair a mess but for once the dull look in her eyes had been replaced with curiosity for the first time in days as she took in her aunt’s appearance.

‘Where are you going, auntie? You look way to pretty for the academy…’

‘I’m going to see Costan – Lady Blackwood’, Zelda said and walked into Sabrina’s room. ‘With her history and the hassle she already had in this pregnancy, I’d rather be careful.’

‘But didn’t you say that the babies will be fine?’

‘It’s not the children that I’m worried about…’ She didn’t even realise she had said that aloud until Sabrina gave her a very obvious frown.

‘What’s that supposed to mean?’

‘Nothing, Sabrina. Now, if you are feeling well enough to pester me with all those questions, you might as well get up and go downstairs. I believe your aunt Hilda has made you pie and biscuits.’

‘But auntie Zee!’ Sabrina grabbed her hand. ‘Why are you worried about Lady Blackwood but not about her children?’

There was that tone in her voice, the one that demanded an answer and Zelda sat down on the bed with a sigh. She would have to give her something or she would never be able to leave.

‘I have been a midwife for a long time, Sabrina. Back in the old world, long before you or Ambrose were born. I have seen everything, everything that can go wrong and – believe it or not – there have been cases similar to Lady Blackwood’s before. Not that one of those women enchanted a ballot box, of course, but there are plenty of other spells that can affect a witch the same way.’

‘And it only affects the witch and not her children?’

‘Well, not – ‘

Before Zelda could finish her explanation – or whatever she had been making up on the spot – they were interrupted by Hilda, who was now calling for her because she had a very distressed Lady Blackwood on the phone.

‘I’m coming, Hilda! Tell her I’m on my way!’ Then she turned back to Sabrina and softly placed a kiss on her forehead. ‘Don’t you worry about those things now, go downstairs and have a nice and relaxed afternoon with your aunt Hilda. That’ll take your mind right off things.’

And with that, she swept downstairs and was off to the Blackwood’s mansion again.

 

* * *

 

 

‘You cannot do any magic until your children are born, Constance. The strain you put on yourself when you enchanted the ballot box was too much and I fear that spellcasting of any kind, no matter how small, will have a rather undesired effect on you.’

‘Will it hurt my children, then?’ Constance asked and looked at Zelda. She sighed and sat down on the sofa next to the woman.

‘It will distress you, perhaps even damage your health. Spellcasting will not affect your children directly but the strain it puts on you will. Until they are born, your children rely on you to stay healthy and strong – otherwise they might not make it.’

Zelda’s voice had been calm but very insistent and her words seemed to reach Constance as the woman’s eyes widened.

‘I knew too much spellcasting could hurt my children – I only did what I had to do. It’s a pity it didn’t work out…’, she glared at Zelda who just rolled her eyes.

‘We both know that your meddling would have been brought to light sooner or later, even without my family’s interference.’

‘But it might have been late enough for my children.’ Constance didn’t even make an effort to hide the spite in her voice and Zelda sighed.

‘You know, Constance, if you hadn’t done all this meddling, it is likely that Prudence would have never found out about Faustus…involvement…with her mother. She wouldn’t have been a threat to your children – but that is neither here nor there now. What’s done is done.’ She sighed again.

‘Faustus asked me to be your children’s night mother.’

‘Oh.’ Somehow, Constance managed to look both utterly unsurprised and very surprised at the same time. It only took her a moment to get a hold of herself again and she nodded slowly.

‘I didn’t think he would ask you, you know? I might not like you very much right now, Zelda, but I know you will protect my children from every threat.’

‘That I will. Like my own.’

For a moment, they sat in silent contemplation before Constance looked at her again.

‘Is it true?’, she wanted to know and Zelda frowned.

‘Is what true?’ She felt a vague Deja vu that took her back to the first dinner mere weeks ago, when she conducted her first exam and became Constance’s midwife. The other woman seemed to think the same because she smiled slightly.

‘The old stories. About your family.’

‘I don’t know what you mean.’

‘You do, Zelda. They say that the Spellman midwifes have a gift, they never lose a child. Is that true?’

‘For some.’

‘Is it true for you, then? Do you have that gift?’

‘It’s not a gift.’ For a moment, Zelda had to close her eyes before she could look at Constance again.

‘It’s a curse.’

 

* * *

 

 

Her grandmother and her mother and aunt had started teaching Zelda about midwifery right after her baptism. She was old enough now, they had explained, and she had years of training before her.

It became clear quite quickly that she was very talented at bringing children into the world, even without much experience she seemed to succeed every time. Perhaps, she thought to herself, she was one of the gifted Spellmans she had heard about before.

The witch in her generation, the one with the gift to never lose a child.

Unfortunately, this would prove to be correct not long after, when a patient came stumbling into their house, already on the verge of giving birth, and Zelda was on her own. She knew the woman, one of those that her grandmother had deemed ‘problematic birth’ and yet, the child made it through alright. And by the time Zelda held the baby, her grandmother got back, just in time to fix up the mother.

It should have been a joyous occasion, Zelda had thought, that she was given this wonderful gift, but none of the other women seemed to think so. They all had very glum expressions on their faces and before Zelda could demand any answers, she was whisked into a carriage and send off to study under another aunt in the black forest.

That aunt had taken her in kindly but as soon as she had unpacked, she sat down on Zelda’s bed and started talking.

‘I assume you know the stories, don’t you, dear? About how gifted we are?’

‘Of course I do, auntie.’

‘They are wrong. They have some truth in it but it is all twisted. You are here to learn how to use your … gift but before, you need to know the truth about it.’

‘I don’t understand – ‘

‘Let me tell you a story, Zelda:’

_‘A long time ago, two Spellman sisters were travelling. One of them was with child but there was no midwife nearby. She went into labour weeks early and her sister was afraid she would lose her. So she prayed to the dark Lord that he would help her safe both her sister and her child.’_

_‘He heard her prayers and offered her a deal: She would take up midwifery and would be unable to ever lose a child in her care. But in exchange, she would give up her ability to have children herself. In her desperation, the witch took the deal but she hadn’t listened well enough. The dark Lord had offered this deal as a gift, a gift that he wanted to bestow upon her family – on one witch in every generation. He failed to mention that every one of them would pay the same price.’_

 ‘You, Zelda, are the gifted one in your generation. But it is not a gift. You will never lose a child but you will never be a mother.’

 

* * *

 

 

‘A curse?’ Constance’s voice pulled her back to the present and Zelda felt herself nod slowly. ‘How can it be a curse if you cannot lose a life?’

‘Because a gift is given freely. We have to pay a price.’

‘What – ‘

‘Don’t. Please.’

Zelda Spellman did not beg but in this moment, she was very close and the look on her face was enough for Lady Blackwood to shut up. For a moment, they sat in awkward silence before Zelda started to gather her things and pack her bag.

‘Now, Constance, for now everything is fine but remember: No magic. None at all. And rest as much as possible, I will not order you strict bedrest but don’t agitate yourself and don’t do anything that could stress you otherwise.’

Lady Blackwood nodded and Zelda got up to leave but then she turned back.

‘And no fighting with Faustus.’

Constance chuckled grimly.

‘Tell that to him – ‘

‘Believe me, I will.’

‘Oh. Well. Thank you, then, sister Zelda.’

As soon as she had pulled the door to the parlour shut, Zelda let out a deep sigh. This had been a rather strange examination and if she was honest, it had also been quite unsettling. Not that it mattered right now, she had something else to do now.

So she straightened her back and strode down the halls towards Faustus’ private office. How many hours they had spent there, years ago, not only over research papers and class schedules but also all over each other. Had she been anyone else, Constance would have had to show them to the office but Zelda had, for the better or the worse, lived here once. She knew her way around.

Three sharp knocks on the door, like they used to.

‘Zelda?’ He remembered as well. Of course he did. ‘Do come in.’

If he was surprised when she swept past him he didn’t show it. Instead, he just sat down behind his desk again and looked up at her because she hadn’t bothered to make herself comfortable.

‘You will not do anything that could stress Constance. No fighting, no comments, nothing. Ignore her, if you have to, but for the sake of your children do not agitate her.’

‘Oh.’ Well, this was clearly not what he had expected because he gave her a somewhat baffled look. ‘I will try my best’, he finally chuckled when he caught himself again. Zelda rolled her eyes.

‘Please do’, she said and turned to leave again.

He caught her wrist. With a quick motion he had turned her back around and she was captured between him and the desk.

‘Faustus.’ There was a warning note in her voice but he either didn’t hear or he simple didn’t care.

‘Oh Zelda, what is wrong? Are you mad at me?’, he teased.

‘I need to go home. My family is waiting for me.’

‘You and I both know that is not true.’ He smirked and then got up as well. For a moment, Zelda thought he might kiss her but he simply stepped so close that their bodies were pressed together.

‘Tell me, Zelda, how are you faring after the last ordeal your niece put you through? You can’t still be mad at me for what I said, can you?’ The way he said it, so, well, innocent and yet somehow mocking made Zelda’s blood boil. She lifted her chin to look him in the eye.

‘You humiliated me in front of my students. That was unnecessary and – ‘

‘But it was true, wasn’t it? You can’t control your niece.’

‘What makes you think that she is any different from her father? No one – not even you – had any control over him.’

She hadn’t even noticed that he had let go of her wrist until his hands started roaming over her hips. They were still standing way to close for her liking – a notion which she found quite surprising herself.

‘I think your niece’s stubbornness is less her father’s fault than yours, Zelda.’

‘I beg your pardon?’

‘She reminds me much more of you than your brother…’ Now his hands were wandering upwards and Zelda couldn’t help but flinch slightly when they reached her still sore shoulders. Suddenly she found herself held at arm length and Faustus eyes bore into hers.

‘Did you punish yourself for your…failure?’

She answered with a half shrug. A smile crept on his face.

‘Good girl.’

That did it. The look she gave him as she shook off his hands was ice cold.

‘You’ve changed, Faustus. Not for the better.’

She didn’t spare him another look as she swept out of the office and transferred from the top of the stairs.

 

* * *

 

 

One look into Constance’s eyes was enough. She knew that she would not make it through the night. She had never been part of the deal, only her children and she had the comfort of knowing that both of them would make it.

Not even Zelda had expected the firstborn to be a girl but she had been a midwife for long enough to know that now was not the time to linger on such things. Telling Constance would only make it harder for her and while she often portrayed the opposite, Zelda wasn’t that cruel.

Prudence, thankfully, kept her mouth shut as well and pointed out the obvious – way too much blood.

‘My babies must be preserved – at all costs.’

It was a reminder to Zelda, subtle enough to be put off as sentiment by Prudence – but she knew better. Constance knew that something was wrong and it was her way of telling Zelda that she would have to step up, be her children’s night mother – protect them. From every possible threat.

Everything afterwards happened in a blur.

Zelda was in her element; her hands were moving fast, weaving magic to help the second twin into the world while whispering soothing words to Constance. She didn’t have time to give Prudence instructions – even if she had, there was nothing she could have done to help her – but the girl had just stepped aside quietly and cleaned the baby. Then she turned and watched Zelda with what could be described as awe.

‘Is he…a’right?’

‘Yes, Constance. Both your children are healthy and happy.’ Zelda gave her a soft smile as she pulled a white cover over her legs.

‘Will...be…fine?’ Her croaking voice was barley understandable and made Prudence frown but Zelda just gave her another smile and gently put a hand on the woman’s forehead.

‘Nothing will happen to your children. They will be just fine. I promised to look out for them, didn’t I?’

‘Pro…mise…’

‘Sister Spellman? ‘, Prudence interrupted with a somewhat panicked look on her face.

‘What is it?’

‘Lady Blackwood is still losing too much blood – ‘

‘She is already gone, Prudence. There was nothing we could have done for her.’

The girl was staring at her in shock and Zelda vaguely remembered the first time she had lost a mother. It hadn’t been that uncommon, in the old days when they didn’t even have soap giving birth had been nearly as deadly for witches as it had been for mortals. She can remember the moment and how she reacted but she simply can’t recall how she had felt.

So Zelda just put a soothing hand on Prudence’s shoulder – only for a moment, and then she turned to the two babies on the table.

Prudence had done a good job at cleaning both of them up and wrapping them up but she was neither a nurse nor a midwife, so it fell upon Zelda to now check both of them up again. It didn’t take long – perhaps because she only took care of the boy and left the girl aside. Only when she came to the end of her routine she included both children and layered them, to Prudence’s astonishment, in heavy protection spells.

Then, finally, she turned to look at her and Prudence felt a shiver run down her spine as those blue eyes fixed on her dark ones.

‘Faustus will not accept a girl as his heir. He wants a son to solidify his legacy and this little girl will be but an obstacle for that.’

‘Do you think he will harm her, sister Spellman?’

She snorted but there was something sad about it.

‘The man I once knew wouldn’t have cared. The man your father is today? I fear he will do everything to get what he wants.’

Zelda stated this so calmly that it almost made Prudence shiver again. She didn’t know what kind of history there was between her father and this woman but it was clear even to her that there was something. And if Zelda Spellman deemed him capable of hurting a baby…

‘There is nothing we can do about it’, she finally said.

‘But there is. I made a promise to Lady Blackwood, one that I intend to keep. But I need to know: Will you keep quite on your own or do I have to make you?’

‘What are you playing at, sister Spellman?’ Prudence asked sharply. Apparently her question wasn’t worthy of an answer as Zelda conjured a wicker basket with a soft pillow inside and placed the baby girl in it. Realisation dawned on Prudence.

‘You are going to steal her.’

‘I’m going to keep her from harm.’

‘What if my father finds out?’

‘Then I will deal with him.’

It was a wonder to Prudence how Zelda could be so calm about all this, Lady Blackwood had just died before them and now she was planning to steal her first born.

‘Can I trust you to keep quiet about this? To not speak a word to anyone – not even your sisters?’

‘If he finds out, my father will know that I was involved.’ Zelda gave her a sharp look.

‘As long as you don’t speak about this, your name will stay out of it.’

Well, that was better than nothing. Prudence glanced at the baby again – her sister, even though she would never admit it. She nodded.

‘I won’t say a word.’

‘Good.’

And then Zelda waved her hand and the basket with the baby disappeared.

 

* * *

 

 

She should have known it. As painful as it was to admit, Zelda was certain that her wonderful gift was to blame for this. As if she had asked for it – she would have been perfectly fine as an ordinary midwife if she could just have a child of her own!

It had taken a long time for her to understand why her aunt had chosen such an isolated place to live all those years ago but now she did. It wasn’t about the calling, about bringing children into the world. It was about seeing them grow up with the knowledge that she could never have that.

Zelda wished that she could just do the same, find some remote place and just stay there to revel in her sorrow. It made her envy Desmelda even more, the witch who did just that – the witch who was now raising her darling Leticia.

But as right as she had been to take the child from Faustus, as wrong had she been to keep her. She should have known better. Raising Sabrina had been one thing, she was their niece and no matter how much they loved her and how much she was their little girl, she would always be their niece.

Taking in Leticia had been different. The little girl had no one else in the world to look out for her and Zelda had every intention on being a mother to her. How silly to think that she could just sidestep her curse. It was not about having a child of her own blood, it was about being a mother. Blood did not matter here.

Gryla had been correct, she had no right to keep Leticia. She was her night mother, not her mother – and now Leticia had been spirited away into the woods to Desmelda and Zelda was wallowing in self-pity.

Every other day, she made her way to Blackwood mansion, let herself in and looked after Judas. Faustus hadn’t commented in the fact that her visits were more and more often and longer every time since epiphany but it was hard to miss.

Zelda was well-aware that spending so much time there would raise suspicion and rumours in the coven – not to mention that the danger of Faustus finding out about Letty was still very present – but she couldn’t care less. Baby Judas didn’t question her, he only cooed and tried to grab her hair every time she took him up.

‘You are taking your duties as his night mother very serious.’ Zelda whipped around and found herself staring at Faustus who was leaning against the door. A familiar smile was playing around his lips and for a moment, Zelda could see the man she had known for so many years. Not high priest father Blackwood, just Faustus.

So instead of a snarky retort, she gave him a small smile.

‘Of course I do. As my night son, it is my duty and pleasure to spoil him, isn’t it?’

‘I’m glad you think so, Zelda.’

‘Well, there is no one else to do it, isn’t there?’ She held up one finger and the boy grabbed it immediately, no longer interested in the hair he had been reaching for.

For a moment, Faustus just stood there and watched them. The scene reminded him of something he had pictured a long time ago, when he and Zelda first got engaged. They had been in bliss until Zelda told him that she couldn’t give him an heir. To be fair, he wouldn’t have minded that much but he desperately needed an heir. Only that he hadn’t been able to picture it with anyone but her.  
What had come after was a blur, their engagement was announced invalid and they had fought for weeks about what to do next. In the end, Zelda had disappeared without telling anyone where she had gone to and he had just married the next witch.  
Seeing her now, with his son, made him remember the family he once intended to have. He didn’t think about his next words.

‘You don’t have to be his night mother; you know? You could be his mother.’

Her head snapped up.

The pure horror on her face startled him.

‘No.’

‘Why not?’, he asked and turned her to face him. ‘Why not, Zelda?’

‘I can’t.’ For a moment, they went back in time, to the moment that broke their relationship and just like then, she had tears in her eyes.

‘I simply can’t, Faustus.’

Then she trusted the baby in his arms and made her way to the door. Before she left, she turned around and looked at him again. The tears were now rolling down her cheeks but her voice was still steady.

‘It’s not a gift. It was bargain and we were never asked if we wanted to pay the price. I can never be a mother. That’s my curse.’

**Author's Note:**

> Right. Well, that's that.  
> This was my first attempt on writing a 'pair' in ... I don't even know, four years? Five? It's certainly been a while - I'm never sure if it is very believable so I would live to hear what you think :  
> For the rest, well, I had another option for the original curse but that was a little hard to explain and just a little bit too religious (I'd rather be a little too careful then to offend anyone with twisting biblical stories) so I choose this one.  
> And then it got a little out of hand - AGAIN. xD


End file.
